The Break Up: Prequel (Part 3)

“It’ll be fine, babe.” She said comfortingly. “I know.” I lied. Those were her last words as she left me. I was still trying to complete the same novel I thought I’d be done with months ago. I was stuck and she was moving on. By moving on I mean her career was booming. Since she had made the dress for the awards show about 3 months ago her name was out there. She was getting calls from just about any celebrity you could name from D list all the way up to A list for any and every event. She even had to hire a staff and get a larger office all within a month. I was happy for her but I was suffering. To see so much success right in my home yet none of it came from me was slowly but surely killing my will to continue writing. I did my best to smile for her and tell her how proud I was but you’ll never feel this incomplete until you see someone you love be made whole while your destiny is still loading. Whether I was an optimist or realist at this moment I felt like the glass that was half empty. I thought it would’ve happened by now. I figured we would come up together. Now she was flying at the top and I was swimming at the bottom. Unfortunately I wasn’t a talking lobster so I didn’t like being under the sea. They say at your lowest point is when you’re forced to rise yet I was trying to figure out how much lower I could go. My life had become the ultimate game of limbo. Honestly, I loved her but resented her success. Though she had remained the same woman I loved, I changed. Her accomplishments changed me. This was the worst thing that could’ve happened. I couldn’t focus for thinking so much about what she had already done. She was on all the blogs and gossip sites. She was the young seamstress who made her way out of hardships and pain all to be a great designer and upcoming stylist. I was never mentioned. Not that I wanted to be. I mean…did I? I wanted to be a great author. I wanted to be mentioned with the legends. I was in the middle of creating the next big thing. Now all I cared about was being mentioned as her significant other. I wanted to be acknowledged. I wanted credit for being by her side. The crazy thing was that she never seemed to care. I never mentioned it to her but she never brought it up either therefore I figured she just didn’t care. “I’m home, sweetheart!” She said happily. Happy to see me I hope. Had I done this again? Had I spent my entire day thinking about her? Her success? My lack thereof? How could I let her popularity kill my dreams? None of this made sense to me, it made me irate in fact. “Hey.” I said. “Is everything ok?” She asked concerned. “Yeah, just tired.” I responded shortly. “Would you like to take a nap?” “I said tired not sleepy!” I snapped. She looked quizzical. “Did I do something to you?” “You did everything!” I was letting loose. “I can’t focus. I have no drive. You are my everything and I’m nothing to you! You’ve fell for your new love. Your job has replaced me! I’m always home trying to write but you’re never her! You’re never around to comfort me! Never here to help my creative process and that’s all I ever did for you!” I was allowing my anger to control my tongue. Maybe I’d regret it later but it felt so good right now. I looked and she had tears streaming down. “How could you say those things to me?” She asked hurt. “It’s all true! The blogs never mention me so neither do you! Your interviews and articles you never once mention me as your inspiration! It’s always your life and things that you’ve been thro-” “You’re apart of my life! Our relationship is all apart of my life!” She screamed. “But you are my life! You are everything to me! There’s nothing on this earth I want more than you!” I retorted. “My success isn’t all credited to you! I love you! I love you so much but it’s not all because of you!” She snapped back. Those words were swords to my speech. I couldn’t speak. It was as if my soul bleed with tears of agony. My entire novel was inspired by her and our relationship. It had started as a short story a year ago and was transformed into what it had become now and it was all because of our experiences together. To hear her say that I wasn’t her total inspiration was to hear Edward Scissorhands scratch a chalkboard. I couldn’t believe it. It was as untrue to me as the notion of God not being real was to a Christian. “So you don’t want them to speak about us because your work wasn’t influenced by us?! Is that it? We don’t matter to the conversation because it was never us, it was just you. I never did anything for you!” I yelled in heartache. “That’s not all true! You weren’t even liste-” “I was listening!” I cut her off. “You don’t want them to know about us! You never have! I know exactly why too!” I shouted. “Do not go there!” She snapped back. “No, it’s true. You don’t want them to know the truth. You don’t want to be just another gay designer thrown out into the world with another sob story of how your parents didn’t accept you! You don’t want your past to come out and that’s impossible if you tell them about us! Maybe you’ll keep me around as long as I keep my mouth shut. Maybe now you’re ready to leave and find a man. That way no one suspects anything! You can live your facade with some man you’ll never truly love all for the sake of continuing your career because you’re too afraid of what might happen if you come out!” I cried. “I can’t. I just can’t.” She said. “You can’t what?” I asked confused. “Be here.” She said as she grabbed her purse and left…Immediately my eyes were open. Had all of that been a dream like one of those tv show episodes? Today was Halloween, maybe I’d had my worst nightmare…

-Too Distinct the Poet

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The Break Up…

So it’s a Friday night, right? Yes, that’s the answer. You’re probably browsing wordpress along with other sites while some scary pre-Halloween movies play on your television. I’m not trying to tell you what to do but maybe you should check out my short story. Part 1 is an introduction to the lives and loving relationship of a wonderful couple and while part 2 may seem like they’re a little too in love, you should be on the lookout for the release of part 3 tomorrow. Thanks for lending me your eyes and as always comments and critiques are not only accepted but also appreciated.

-Too Distinct the Poet

Cleansing

daf

What’s up, King?

I apologize, I’m not trying to be strange

Should I call you “nigga?”

Because you answer to it like its your name

If you recognized yourself as royalty then its what you would’ve became

So when you call me “nigga”

I won’t answer and its not hard to explain

Its simple, we just aren’t the same

See you’re ok with killing our brothers

I’m trying to create a life for our children and their mothers

You’re fine with watching our people suffer

I’m trying to convince a black queen that I really do love her

I’d like to move our people ahead

You seem like you won’t be content until our people are dead

I’m attempting to teach you, King

I want you to know of the songs our ancestors sing

I wish to enlighten you

Let you know pyramids, ankhs and the eye of Horus should’t frighten you

Open your third eye and increase your sightings too

Introduce you to another world you could be flying through

Open your mind and realize things you couldn’t view

Like how your entire life you’ve been lied to

There’s no one better when you’re the best

But the media shows us black lives mean less

King, be strong with knowledge of self and stick out your chest

Put our culture on your shoulders

Help me clean up this mess

-Too Distinct the Poet

Watch me recite this poem on my YouTube channel. Here’s the link:

Cleansing by Too Distinct the Poet

The Break Up: Prequel (Part 2)

“Thanks for last night, babe.” She said as she left for the office. Knowing that she was happy meant the world to me. To know that she woke up happy because she was so pleased with last night made my morning even better. I had a lot of work to do as did she but we both started off on the right foot. I have a novel I’ve been working on seemingly forever. I was hoping to get it done soon and getting it to a major publishing company would be huge for me. She had to continue working on a dress design for some celebrity for an awards show. I can’t remember who but I know it would do wonders for her career if she could impress them so I was encouraging her every chance I got. I wanted her to be successful more than I wished it for myself. Well better get started…”Thank god you’re back!” I exclaimed as she walked through the door of our cozy 2 bedroom apartment. “Did someone miss me?” She asked playfully. “I most definitely did, you were gone for almost ever. I counted.” I played back. Truth is I actually did miss her. Nothing was better than her presence. Nothing. “So how did the writing go?” She asked concerned. “Pretty good.” I lied. I’ve had writers block constantly for some time now and I’ve really been frustrated but I’d never wish to make her apart of my personal problems. I wanted her to always be as happy as she was on our anniversary yesterday. “How was your day?” I asked hopeful. “She loved the designs! She wants me to make the dress ASAP that way we can get it fitted. Then if something happens we can do altercations accordingly.” She was excited and I was so happy for her. “What could happen in such a short amount of time?” I asked inquisitively. “Oh you know, sudden weight gain or loss, something like that. Celebrities with their binge diets and what not.” She explained. I still didn’t remember who the woman was but she didn’t have to know that. I just needed to be happy for her, no reason to tell her I forgot and risk upsetting her…

“Pizza?” I asked already knowing the answer. “Always.” She said smiling. Friday’s were always our pizza night since neither one of us wanted to cook. What are weekends for if not being lazy? For me it was about two uninterrupted days with the woman I loved more than I loved myself. There was nothing she could ever do to make me stop loving her. Nothing. Things may not have been going well for me work wise but as long as I had her, there was nothing else I’d ever want. Nothing. I had never felt this way about another soul and though it was somewhat scary I was ready to take on new adventures as long as she was by my side. “What was that noise?” I asked confused. “The doorbell, silly. You’ve been staring in space for like half an hour.” She teased. “Guess I just got lost in my thoughts again.” I said laughingly. “Well go open the door and get our food so we can get lost in each other.” At that moment my appetite for pizza had diminished as I became increasingly starved for her essence. I would lose myself in her ocean of love and hopefully be lost forever in her pleasure filled abyss. 
-Too distinct the poet
All comments and critiques are appreciated. Thank you. 

Illusions

Feeling more distant as of late

Like this may not have been our fate

Maybe we did it too soon

Instead of you saying yes

You should’ve said lets wait

It’s mostly my fault though

Guess since I reached mine

I didn’t think about your goals

For that I apologize

Sad it took me this long to realize

Obviously I’m still stuck with hopes and a dream

Us being happy, a unit, a team

I mean

Things are just never as they seem.

The Break Up: Prequel (Part 1)

She means the world to me and I to her. Sometimes I just can’t get over how much I love this woman. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do… “Babe?” “Yes, sweetheart.” I must’ve gotten lost in my thoughts. I do that pretty often. “Are we still going to the place to do the thing?” She asked still confused as to where and what it was. I told her I had a surprise and it’s been so hard to keep my lips sealed all week. Finally though, it’s Saturday and the time has come. “Of course we are, I would never break a promise to you.” I say with a sly smile still giving no clues. “I’d hope not, so are you going to tell me what the surprise is now?” She asked with those puppy eyes that I can never say no to. Except for this time. This time I’d stay strong. “No, you’ll see. ” I respond calmly. Hours later and I was getting dressed in my finest attire. She was asleep on the couch and I kissed her ever so slightly as she felt my lips against her skin and faced me. Blinking numerous times and wiping her eyes she couldn’t believe what she saw. “You’re wearing that!” She asked in astonishment. “Yes” I smiled. “Only for you.” She looked at the clock it was 6 and she knew we had to be there at 7. She jumped up yelling “Oh my god! You’re all dressed up and I have no idea what to…” I stopped her “look on the bed” I said covertly. She went into the bedroom and shrieked when she saw the gown I’d gotten for her especially for this night. “Well hurry up and get dressed” I said playfully “we don’t want to be late.”

When we arrived at the restaurant she was ecstatic. “I can’t believe we’re actually here!” This was a fairly new place to our town and she had been saying how bad she’s wanted to go for quite some time now. It was definitely on the high end when it came to restaurants but nothing was too good for her. Nothing. We had great conversations during dinner. We spoke about work and what the future held for us. I wanted to be a successful writer whereas she wanted to break through the fashion world and be a renown designer. The food was amazing as well. I had glazed salmon dish that was to die for and she had seafood scampi that she fell for almost as hard as she fell for me. It was cloudy when we left and the ride home wasn’t fast enough seeing as we both wanted each other more than anything else. We broke through the door tasting each other’s lips. I wanted her so badly I couldn’t wait to get to the bedroom so I forced her on the sofa and with our lips still locked. There was nothing better than her love. Nothing. I grabbed her waist as I made my way down her body stopping at every sweet spot. Kissing her neck as she moaned only to trail my tongue to her breasts. Pulling the dress down I sucked her nipples slowly and attentively until they rose to solid tips. Twirling my tongue around her areola teasing her only to take slight nibbles on her peaks. Listening to her breathing increase rapidly I was only becoming more aroused. I guided my mouth down her soft skin kissing and licking every inch, I glided down her abdomen and past her mound until I reached her essence. She was so wet for me, so ready. I caressed her thighs with my mouth taking my time because she was art to me therefore she should be appreciated and not rushed. I looked up to see her biting her lip waiting in agonizing patience until I finally embraced her essence. I tasted everything anyone could ever hope for. At that moment she was all I needed. She tasted like my dreams. Everything came to fruition in that moment I savored her uncontrollably. Her sweetness was the meaning of life for me. I licked her clit with short flicks of my tongue as she let go of her inhibitions. “I love you more than anything!” She screamed as her pleasure became music to my ears. It was as if heaven’s gates rained blessings onto my taste buds. There was nothing greater than her love. Nothing. The rest of the night became a blur as we lustfully treasured each other.

“Hey, love.” “Good morning” she replied to me with a smile that could light up the darkest of days. Coincidentally today actually was dark. It was storming, had been since last night when we…I always saw her as a bolt of lightening rather than a bright sunshine. With just a glance she could strike down anything in her vicinity while her beauty was still illuminating to any viewer unharmed. If she was lightening then I was the storm itself. Not always pleasurable to everyone but to the select few who enjoyed the rain and the roaring of the thunder, I was appreciated. Just like a bolt of light in the raging weather, she’d let me know that no matter what, she would always be right there with me.

-Too Distinct

Remember all comments and critiques are greatly appreciated.

T.H.O.T Thursday: Marijuana

  

In this week’s T.H.O.T Thursday we’ll be thinking harder on the legalization of marijuana. So is it really that bad? Many people have at least tried it once and the common response is “I didn’t feel anything.” So it can’t be too bad, right? There have never been any deaths linked to the sole use of marijuana. Although there are numerous things that are legal that have caused a large number in deaths, we all know the most popular are alcohol and cigarettes. Unlike alcohol marijuana is non habit forming meaning it’s not addictive. Seriously, how many alcoholics do we know? From personal experience my brother is an alcoholic and I’ve watched him struggle with it for over a decade now. His health has continuously declined and his drive to do anything other than get drunk is obsolete. When he’s not drinking he is still the fun, loving person that I grew up to admire. The disease not only takes that away from him but is killing him in the process. The scariest thing is no matter what we try it all seems to fail. I genuinely think he wants to stop but his vice has such a hold over him that he doesn’t feel he can turn back. My brother is in his 40’s, now let’s think about the fact that this highly addictive liquid is available for the legal consumption of Americans at the young age of 21. Another experience I’m dealing with is my mother smoking cigarettes. She used to smoke before I was born and she’s started back recently. There haven’t been any noticeable effects but that doesn’t mean nothing bad is happening. I’ve had a great aunt who passed away from complications caused by cigarettes. The crazy thing is she knew she was dying and still didn’t stop smoking. I’m undecided as to whether I think she was just stubborn or if the contents of cigarettes are that addictive. Back to subject at hand, there have been no events such as those with alcohol and cigarettes that have been solely caused by marijuana. What has been proven is that marijuana can be used medicinally. It’s helped thousands of patients with painful diseases that they would describe as unbearable. To summarize, there are many legal things that can be consumed and used that are highly addictive and have health hazards. Marijuana is completely opposite of the previously stated items yet it is still classified as a federally illegal drug. Whether you agree with the push for the legalization of marijuana or not, hopefully this helps you to Think Harder On That. 
-Too Distinct the Poet

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