The Break Up: Aftermath

It wasn’t a dream. I just woke up wishing it was. What I wouldn’t do for a genie right now. My first wish would be that I didn’t say any of the things I did last night. I was stuck regretting it all but it just felt so good at the time. To get everything off my chest that I’d been bottling up for months. The way it all spilled out you’d think I was a soda factory. So why was I so hurt? A question I already knew the answer to. It shouldn’t have come out that way. My delivery shouldn’t have been so harsh. She didn’t deserve that and because of it our relationship is probably over. You should always be careful what you say especially when your upset. You should hold your tongue like you would a newborn baby. How could I ever be so careless? If the words were swords then I was throwing knives at her and her feelings where my targets. I’d done more than hurt her, I’d killed her emotionally. Why do we always hurt the ones we love? Is it because the expectations are so high? I’m really not sure but one thing I was sure about was that we were done. Arguments aren’t department stores, you can’t just take things back and everything is fine afterwards. What’s done is done. Maybe we both should have been more open. Then again it’s easy for me to say “we” when I’m the one who caused this. It only takes one small leak to sink a ship yet my statements were an iceberg and her emotions were the Titanic. A catastrophic event for sure. 1 month later…

Staring in the mirror trying to gather myself as I had for the past 30 days. Sometimes it still didn’t feel real. I had finished my novel which helped to take my mind off of her but I couldn’t help but see her as her designs were everywhere. In stores, on celebrities, in magazines and even on television. At one point it was us against the world and then Armageddon happened. Then it was only us against each other. Still staring in the mirror I was left with only a few thoughts…

Break ups are strange. Strange because the people who break up aren’t the same people who started a relationship. See, the goal is to continuously grow together. Unfortunately though, sometimes you only grow apart. In the end you’re stuck looking in the mirror feeling like not only is the person you’ve broken up with unfamiliar, but you don’t even know yourself anymore. 

-Too Distinct the Poet

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